Limits

Today I loaded up my car with my three selected framed illustrations ("Tangerine Dream", " "keeper.", and Untitled (Muse)) to drop off for the small pop-up show @ Hotel Utica as a part of Project-U Arts, Greg's GPS (because last time I drove there I got lost twice and had to ask for directions), and a road sandwich (to eat after my shift and on the drive to Utica, NY).  I went to work at my part-time (very nearly full-time) retail job, unloaded the second merchandise shipment of the week (yes, I physically unload stock for the company I work for as well as manage my staff and help make sales).  Scrambled to "package" my frames a little better by creating make-shift bubble wrap pouches and then headed on the the thruway to deliver my work and help with any needed maintenance and assistance for tomorrow's mural paintings @ MVCC for the I <3 Utica Music & Arts Fest/Greensfest.  

I managed to drop off my bubble wrapped protected work successfully, but without remembering to include some business cards with it, and hopped back on the road to head to MVCC.  I found the actual campus of Mohawk Valley Community College fine, however trying to find where other members of Project-U Arts would be on campus was a different story.  I ended up circling the whole campus twice, looking around for any signs of a group with large pieces of plywood, all while my car is attracting the attention of any surrounding students with its loud exhaust.

Finally I decided to park my car and just walk around the campus until I could locate an information building or someone to ask for directions.  Thankfully I noticed large tents and also large pieces of plywood in the middle of campus and new I was on the right path.  Now, the campus center (or "quad" as we referred to it @ Cazenovia College) was not visible from any parking lot or road on campus that I was aimlessly driving around.    In the end I found the people I was looking for and they were all set with help in both areas.  I had 4 hours until the start of the exhibition tonight and no formal clothes with me, and no knowledge of Utica whatsoever.  I decided to drive back to Syracuse and make the drive back again to Utica tonight to show my support for the art collective, meet new faces, and familiarize myself with other artists at the exhibition.  

At this point while I'm driving on the thruway, barely going above 65 (max 70mph) out of sheer noise volume of my exhaust, I contemplated the following:

"Should I really go to this exhibition tonight or should I stay home?"
"Will my car make it to Utica and back tonight and tomorrow?"

"Will my exhaust fall off?"

"How much longer can I drive before I HAVE to get it fixed?"

"Will my car be able to all this silly driving to Utica and Syracuse, then to Buffalo and back next week?"

"Can I afford to ultimately fix this?"

I am going to need to get my exhaust repaired in my car very soon....like in a couple weeks soon.  It's the loudest I've ever heard it and as my Mercury Grand Marquis came to me being already used, I really have no clue how old the exhaust actually is.  After all my inner turmoil I decided it was best to not go to the exhibition tonight and save the driving for tomorrow's festivites and mural painting.  I've been working hard and badgering friends and co-workers for free old house paint to complete this mural project tomorrow, and I really can't say "no" to that.  

With that said, I need to go work on sketches for a design to paint on a giant 4 x 8' piece of plywood set upright for the I <3 Utica Music & Arts Festival/Greensfest.  This in itself is a brand new adventure and a brand new medium and challenge I've put myself up against.  Sometimes I put too much of a workload on myself and sometimes I think I don't do enough.  I'm 25 years old and I'm still trying to find my own limitations as a person through all my endeavors, passions, and good intentions.

-Caroline